ABCDE and The Happiness of Randomness

Arousal. Believe. Create. Dream. Endeavor.

This conversation is an enlightening one with an amazing Accounting-mate. Thank you so much.

Can I ask you something?
Why do you love Accounting so much?
Actually, I used to love it so much. But, I think I don't love it as much nymore.
Really? Why?
Because I have found something that I truly love more.
(speechless)

Do you know what you really want in life?
Yes, I know. I just think that I am still looking for it. Actually, I have known it well, I have found it once. It just seems far away to me.
Well, at least you know what you are looking for. 
Hmm yes. But, it is like rebuilding a home that has been burnt away. Rebuilding a dream that has been lost and deeply buried. 

Be happy that you know what happiness means to you. Be happy that you know what you dream for, what life means to you. Just do it and believe in it.

Thanks, Prof. Rana Dajana for a motivating and inspiring lecture on MIT TV: Success in the perspective of Jordanian woman. Although I have different views on how I see families and works for I values my family more than my work. Family is priceless. However, I am inspired on how Prof. Rana Danaja proved that education has no limit on age, did great time management, created the real laboratory in Jordan, and made education as the light of fire. She has all the role or the head or the scarves as mother, scientist, educator, and so on and so forth. So, this is your time, let you define your own success.

http://video.mit.edu/watch/success-from-the-perspective-of-a-jordanian-woman-scientist-29088/


Why are we here, where we come from
Where's our future, leading us
Where's our life, taking us
Show us the path, dear Allah
What are we, to do here
There must be a reason to be here
Ya Allah the greatest
Nor of these you create for waste
Show me the right path
The path of the favored one with your grace
Show me the right path
The path of Rasulullah and his companions
Don't leave me please your guidance I need
Show me the way, light up my life
Don't leave me please your guidance I need
Show me the way, to gain your love
-Raihan, The Right Path

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent the Merciful. Praise be to Allah the Lords of the worlds. The Knower of all things. My Lord, increase me in knowledge.

Ya Allah, it is You we worship and You we ask for help. Guide us to the straight path...

Happiness for me is when I share smile and happiness :) I miss them so much. It is not that I couldn't move on with life. I recently sent an essay on education for children and they asked me to send some photos. I will post my essay here when it has been published. And looking through all the pictures really make me relive all the memories. Hope to see you all again! We have to share more of smile, dream, and endeavor! Yes, we do.

Happiness is...

creating smile on those little faces

photo: Noy-KKN

sharing simple things yet meaningful to those little and amazing intelligent kids

photo: Noy-KKN

photo: Noy-KKN

happiness is unseen, sometimes you look too far.. 

when, a closed smiley strawberry balloon cheers you up.

17an Jalan Sehat :)

photo: Noy-KKN

read through the river, write for the future. pena-pena ceria, how i miss this badly!

design: Laila

Surprising the loved one!

  photo: anik senja

Feeling happy the way you are :)

source: somewhere in the internet via google :D

Sharing food.. Making simple stuff to eat. anything edible is delicious when we are hungry. 

Too much spice, sorry Noy ^^V

photo: Noy-KKN

Opening your arms :)

photo: Mom

Randomness is happiness.

Creating Speech as Juicy as Peach

First of all, this is not going to be a recipe on how to make a certain kind of food. Yet, it is just a simple thought or if appropriate to be called a guidance on how to deliver a speech especially an English speech. The reason why I wrote this, is because last month I got this chance of delivering a speech. I felt so bad thar I haven’t practiced for years. Then I thought, the best speech is the one that can be as juicy as peach. If you want to know why I peak the analogy of peach, it is because peach is very juicy and my favorite one. 

I have been missing this sort of activities and challenges during my old days both in the middle and high school years. I haven’t got any chance to practice any in my college. I don’t know why the more people bring up my background, take me differently, or expect to me differently make myself become a reserved person. I know this is not right. I just don’t know how to change people’s mindset and even my own mindset that it is not nice to be treated or seen as a different kind of person.

Anyway, that big day finally came. I regretted in my life that after graduating and leaving Pedes (the high school debate club) I didn’t practice and improve my public speaking enough. So, I think I didn’t do well during my speech in the multimedia room of the central building last month. I was perhaps too nervous speaking in front of the CEOs, managers, vice rector, staff, and the fellow students. At least, I was the last speaker to represent the students and it makes it even worse. Well, certainly people couldn’t wait for the lunch and they were just tired to listen more speeches. Anyway, I hope it wasn’t too bad. But, it makes me feel happy, when Mr. Mitsuki knows Totto Chan, it is my favorite children book about education in Japan. He laughed really hard when I told him something I remembered about Japan from my childhood is a book called Totto Chan. 

Just later after that big day, an old friend of mine sent me a text message asking me to send some of the speech writings I have done during high school for her cousin who is going for a speech contest. Then, lately, I saw the documentation of our president speaking in the APEC Conference as well. Despite all the controversies over his speech, I would say that speech is an important skill that thankfully can be learned by anyone. So, I decided that I wanted to share some thoughts on this matter of delivering a speech.

Practicing is the first key to create a speech as juicy as peach. There is this saying goes, “Practice makes perfect.” It was honestly very hard for me to restart everything over. After this stagnant time and long break of practice. I miss this little girl who did her first speech in her freshman year in the middle school during Porseni so bravely, I miss this little girl talking about education, the achievement of Indonesia in the education, how to prevent drug abuse, and so on and so forth, with a high pride and optimism even if she had to face those university students meanwhile she was only a high school. I miss this faith, arousal, and belief that always move her inner self out. Even she was not the best speaker in the team, it was good when her team mates telling her that the best thing about being a team with her is that she has been the lucky maker. Since she was the only girl in the team, it means a lot to be thanked as the lucky maker of the team. Well there is no such a lucky maker but there can be miracles when you believe. Because He will answer anything just when we believe in it. It is always true.

How do I practice? Some freshmen had some consultation about life in college beginning of this school year. Like how to cope with all the books, how to improve English skill. This is what people always say: I feel ashamed. I am not good at speaking English. I am afraid people will laugh at me. No worries. I was. The only thing that pushed me hard to study English at that time was that I was trapped in a Bilingual class--the first in Indonesia to use English and Bahasa Indonesia in the learning of Math and Science. I got 2.5 in my Physics class because I wasn’t good at understanding the class and I had figured out that I was committed myopia for the first time. That free fall experience moved me to learn and to understand English better so that I could make it a hundred for the following test. It is publicly known that I always bring a huge bag. People always comment on this. So, actually I am accustomed with it. I didn’t have alfalink until now, so I used to bring a very thick dictionary recommended by the teacher anywhere, it is John Echol’ something... Also, I made my own little dictionary. I don’t care about people’s comment on my bag, except I care about my health, my back bone, hehe. So, if you think you want to learn vocabs more easily bring with you a pocket of Oxford dictionary (the mini size is so nice) or perhaps electronic dictionary. Then, write down any new words in your own little dictionary.

It was my experience to love English and Physics so much. In learning Accounting, well, since it is still on my way, I would keep the story for some other time. Hopefully, there will be some chances to share good motivating things about it. I struggled a lot. It is totally new strange world. However, I remember Theresa Sings, an exchange student from Passau-Germay studying at this faculty, whom I met during a seminar in Djarum Hall, she was surprised about students here. She asked me how come I studied something that I don’t enjoy. I know this is crazy but I feel jealous for people in Germany who can freely take higher education. They don’t have to pay tuition so that they can change their study plans as they wish. She said, how do you love something that you don’t like, how come you just follow what your parents say? Well, I try hard to keep telling myself, it is what is called love. It is because of love that we do something even a single thing that we don’t love doing. So, remind me please, when I feel like I am losing all the hopes.

The first person to practice speaking English with is yourself. Don’t you think I am crazy? Yes, it is ok to feel like a mad as long as it is helping you to learn. If you hesitate to start it with people start it with yourself. I am a kind of person who like talking to myself when no body’s around. Well, sounds weird. But it is true. I was a very shy person-until now. I could only practice my English in the class and I have no one whom I can practice with at home. So, I started practicing with my self, the radio, tape, and the music. I love reading and playing as the characters in the stories. So, I started reading everything in English loudly by my own. I started talking to myself in English when I was sad, happy, or angry, Sometimes when you see yourself in the mirror, encourage yourself in English is a good way to motivate. Yet, be aware of the surroundings when people start noticing your weird manner don’t worry just tell them you are practicing. Then, the next person, would be anyone around you. It could be your sister, your mom, your friend, or your teacher. However, it sometimes feel awkward to speak in Englsih with your family when they don’t really speak English. So, be a hunter. I used to go to Malioboro and approached the tourists and shared anything with them. They were mostly welcome and happy especially when they need help with direction and other stuff. Trust me, speaking in the language other than your language is one of the reasons that foreign tourists will really admire and respect you. There could be funny experiences you found. It sometimes happen. Once there was this fight between the pedicab driver (tukang becak for I am not sure with my english for this term) and the tourists on how much the cost, they thought 20,000 was too high since they usually used dollars. There would be more fun stories to find.

Anyway, delivering a speech is a way of influencing the audience to get into your messages. It is not easy especially that people love talking themselves rather listening to others’ speaking. For me, it is hard for me because I love writing more than speaking. Besides, I naturally don’t like to debate with people simply because everyone has one’s own belief and I don’t like to interfere. But, debating is something important in life in ways to grow mature, to be able to learn our opponents and make the best decision through it. Thus, we want to make our speech leave good impression at the very first time. Good opening is a good start. My favorite opening when I did the speech or everytime I did a contest was this: 

In the name of Allah. The Beneficent The Merciful. Praise be to Allah. Lord of the worlds. The Knower of all things. My Lord, increase me in knowledge.

I always start my speech with this powerful words. It doesn’t have to be like this one. You may use a popular quote, a poetry, or even a song. It is a good thing to create an icebreaker as well.

The next thing to consider is that it is always harder at the beginning because it is harder to start saying something. During this critical time, be sure to take a deep breath and look over the audience. Mr. Tri Kartika, my first mentor, who is my dad’s good friend and later is my high school friend’s dad (Ninda’s) as well, telling me that I have to look over the audience before starting to gain their attention. He said, “If you are afraid to look at their eyes, look at their forehead. Just to pretend you are looking at them straightly.” It worked actually to build a strength and rapport (trust and invisible relationship) with the audience.

The first time I did speech contest, I was amazed. What I did was to listen and observe other contestants. I observed the ways others bring their speeches. In business, you call this strategy as bench-marking. You do benchmarking to learn the best practice of your competitors in order to be better. So, there was this girl having an excellent accent who delivered a speech with high intonation in some parts, clear conjunction and coherent speech, and enchanting song. I was admired. She was a year older than me. So, the next time I competed, I benchmarked her strategy. I brought up a story, a song, and/or a poetry to make my speech more interesting.

The next thing to do is sign posting. This message is from my high school debating coach, mas Zaka. I don’t know where he is now but he is one of my important teachers although he used to bully me and the kids a lot. I remembered we exercised speaking on Yos Sudarso road. Whenever people and the vehicles came across, they would think we were crazy students talking to ourselves across the busy road. Anyway, sign posting means you put the contents of the speech in a systematic manner. Make the points clear and highlights. So, for example, the motion of the debate is this house believes that students should be given freedom to take any courses they are interested in. Instead of saying, I have many reasons why it is the freedom of the students to take courses that they like, it is better to say it clearly as: I have three main reasons why students should have the freedom of choosing courses that they like. First, ... Second,... Third... The conjunction to keep coherent and cohesive speech is to keep the right conjunction such as therefore, nevertheless, unfortunately, and so on. 

Logical thinking is an important thing in delivering both speech and debate. I love learning the fallacies in order to understand how to make a logical thinking. One funny way of learning the logical fallacies is through reading the short story called “Love is Fallacy.” Ms. Dohe was the one who introduced me to this funny story. If you are any interested you can type and search for yourself. It is a fun way of learning those difficult terms. I do remember our coach-mas Zaka kept telling the team not to make a tautological argument which is an argument with circular reasoning. So, it doesn’t have a basic reason and it just keeps going round and round. So, for instance, this house believes that should human should never leave the planet earth because everyone live upon the earth. This type of reasoning will be tautological.

Hmmm... What else should be important? I could not remember anything else except manner and expression. So, whatever happens keep the manner and expression as desire. Be aware with the err... What.. Emm.. Those are fillers and sometimes are annoying. Instead, you can pause for a second or say something that you forget the word by its synonym or description. Last but not least, keep practicing!

Picture: http://fruits-vegetables-benefits.blogspot.com/2013/03/health-benefits-of-peaches.html

The Night Comer [Translation]

This is one of my favorite surah/chapter. It talks about a piercing star, the star that comes at night. It is called ats-tsaqib, the shining one, "yang bercahaya." One of the very verse is "There is no soul but that it has a protector over it." So, when you feel lonesome, you have too much in life, just know that Allah will not let us be alone. Yes, there always be those beside us, the guardians who should remind us acting like an accountant that keep the records of our deeds. There always be yet until the day when there is no protector nor a helper.

audio: https://soundcloud.com/nurismanajma/the-night-comer-at-thariq
further readings:
www.houseofquran.com
www.qtafsir.com

Study HARD! Love, Pray, and Do :)

Today I found two quotes. Both compelling and awakening quotes to live the day as an Accounting student for this final year. Also, it is surely good to begin a new year (the Hijriyah) with blessing. 

The first one came in the electronic mail from our department sending some challenges. The message says:

"Great minds don't see limits, they see opportunities."

It used to be so easy to take those kinds of challenges. It is harder when I start asking and doubting my own self.

Another was a poetry from Dylan Thomas entitled "Poetry in October."

"And I rose 
in rainy autumn.
And walked abroad in a shower of all my days."

And yes,

"In every hardship, there is relief."

Psikologi Humanistik: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Humanisme merupakan sebuah aliran pemikiran psikologi yang jika dirunut berasal dari filosofi eksistensialisme. Humanisme menurut Bagus Riyono mengakibatkan pandangan hidup yang misleading karena memusatkan segalanya kepada manusia sehingga meniadakan Tuhan. Namun, humanisme dalam teori Maslow telah memberikan kontribusi pada pemikiran psikologi mengenai hierarki kebutuhan manusia atas aktualisasi diri, sebuah karakteristik manusia yang lebih defining, manusiawi, dan lebih tinggi derajatnya dibandingkan pemikiran Freud yang melihat bahwa semua manusia pada dasarnya buruk dan diperdaya hawa nafsu.

Sebelum membahas lebih jauh, mari sedikit mengulang teori Maslow, teori motivasi yang merupakan bagian dari content theory menurut Budi Santoso dalam kuliah Perilaku Organisasional. Teori ini sangat populer tetapi memiliki keterbatasan yang hanya melihat kebutuhan sebagai tingkatan-tingkatan hierarkis sehingga tidak mampu menjelaskan lebih komprehensif apa yang sebenarnya membuat seseorang termotivasi. Content theory kemudian dikembangkan oleh para ahli menjadi process theory seperti goal-setting theory maupun expectancy theory yang menitikberatkan pada apa yang menjadi penyebab perilaku seseorang. 

Teori hierarki kebutuhan manusia yang dicetuskan Abraham Maslow terdiri atas lima kebutuhan mendasar manusia yang berurutan dari paling bawah sampai kebutuhan yang paling atas meliputi kebutuhan dasar fisiologis, kebutuhan psikologi, kebutuhan sosial, self-esteem (kebutuhan untuk berprestasi dan unggul), self-actualization (kebahagiaan). Bagus Riyono menarik kesimpulan dari penemuan Maslow bahwa terdapat dua kategori manusia yaitu actualized and non-actualized person. Manusia yang belum teraktualisasi akan terus mencari dan menginginkan terpenuhinya kebutuhan tersebut. Sedangkan, pribadi yang telah teraktualisasi akan lebih stabil. 

Maslow berhasil mengangkat sisi kemanusiaan yang terlupakan dan terabaikan dari teori Freud. Self-actualization merupakan konstruk yang dimunculkan Maslow dari hasil pengamatan terhadap orang-orang yang berkepribadian baik dan mulia. Pandangannya yang berbeda adalah keyakinan bahwa tidak semua manusia jahat. Bagus Riyono kemudian menjabarkan ciri kepribadian yang telah teraktualisasi. Orang yang memiliki aktualisasi diri memiliki pandangan terhadap realitas, lebih nyaman, dan objektif. bisa menerima diri dan orang lain dengan tentram, spontan tetapi tidak ngawur. Ia memiliki kemampuan untuk menyendiri atau meng-handle attachment dan melakukan detachment. Autonomy yang dimilki sehingga lebih mandiri, independen, self-reliant, dan memiliki continued-freshness of appreciation. Dengan kemampuan megapresiasi yang tulus tersebut pribadinya memiliki kemampuan empatik yang tinggi dan hubungan interpersonal yang kuat.

Namun, kekurangan dari teori tersebut adalah konstruk self actualization masih sangat abstrak. Selain itu, teori Maslow kehilangan ruh atau nirmakna. Pengalaman spiritual bagi Maslow sayangnya hanyalah sebuah istilah yang tidak diinginkannya yang terpaksa dia gunakan sehingga hanya berakhir pada pemaknaan secara humanistik. Ya, agama kemanusiaan. Maslow menilai bahwa tidak ada hubungan yang bermakna kecuali hubungan antarmanusia. Agama dalam kaca matanya dianggap sebagai kelompok yang menghambat kebebasan manusia. 

Pandangan Maslow tentang agama tertulis dalam bukunya Religions, Values, and Peak-Experience. Sayang sekali banyak penganut aliran humanisme yang tidak benar-benar memahami basis pemikiran Maslow karena mengabaikan footnote dalam buku tersebut. Catatan kaki yang khusus menjabarkan makna “spiritual life” menurut Maslow adalah distasteful vocabulary dalam dunia sains dan psikologi. Istilah yang kurang bermakna atau hambar dalam dunia ilmiah dan psikologi. Baginya, the common base of all religion is human sehingga dia terlalu mendewakan manusia. Semua kejadian menurutnya bersifat subjektif, kemanusiaan, dan menuntun kepada pengalaman puncak yang mengarah kepada iluminasi (pencerahan yang tidak berhubungan dengan Tuhan). Maslow pada akhirnya tidak menemukan kata yang tepat untuk menjelaskan makna spiritual sehigga kata itu pun menjadi kata yang biasa saja.

The ugly part of this theory adalah sisi wagu dalam istilah Jawa yang digunakan Bagus Riyono yaitu bahwa Maslow percaya 90 persen manusia jahat. He said, “all men are bastards.” Hal ini cukup kontradiktif dalam konstruk yang diangkat Maslow karena dia melihat adanya tingkatan teratas manusia self actualization-tingkatan yang paling mulia versinya yang berarti hanyalah 10 persen saja yang dianggap oleh Maslow. Ia pun masih membenarkan defense mechanism dalam teori Freud bahwa manusia ketika melakukan kesalahan dapat merasakannya. Ya, itulah dosa yang sebenarnya disadari manusia. Namun, teori Maslow mengarahkan bahwa manusia memiliki self defense mechanism untuk membentengi dan merasionalisasi setiap kesalahannya. Berdasarkan uraian dan analisis di atas, Bagus Riyono membuat sebuah pemikiran, a discourse analysis, bahwa pemikirannya atas 10 persen manusia terbaik tersebut berakar dari pemikiran Yahudi yang menganggap dirinya sebagai umat terbaik yang seharusnya menguasai manusia lainnya. Hal ini tentu tidak terlepas dari latar belakang Maslow yang merupakan seorang Yahudi.

Ancaman dari psikologi humanistik adalah munculnya agama humanisme. Relativisme kebenaran bahwa semua benar dan relatif bagi setiap orang mendorong kepada paham pluralisme yang idenya setara dengan humanisme. Pluralisme dan pluralitas sendiri memiliki esensi yang berbeda. Pluralitas adalah diversitas. Pemahaman bhinneka tunggal ika seringkali misleading. Bahwa ia adalah sebuah pluralitas, diversitas yang menyatu. Bukan pluralisme. Pada akhirnya Maslow belum bisa menjelaskan mengapa seseorang berperilaku tertentu ketika semua tingkatan kebutuhan telah dimiliki, misalnya mengapa koruptor yang telah mendapatkan pemenuhan semua tingkat kebutuhan masih saja korupsi?

Pada sesi akhir ada sebuah refleksi yang menarik. Bani Israil dalam Al Quran diceritakan sebagai umat yang terpilih tetapi ingkar. Oleh karena itu, umat terbaik adalah umat islam yang ber-amar ma’ruf nahi munkar, mengajak kepada kebajikan menjauhi kemunkaran. 

Self defense mechanism dalam teori Maslow maupun Freud tidak sesuai dengan Islam. Dalam Islam, semua manusia dilahirkan dalam kondisi fitrah sehingga ketika ia berbuat dosa bukan self defense mechanism yang seharusnya dilakukannya melainkan taubatan nasuha. Oh ya, saya baru tahu ada seorang peserta yang out of topic menyinggung soal lambang iluminati pada Tugu Jogja. Menurutt Bagus Riyono hal itu memang tidak dapat dipungkiri karena penjajah yang datang ke Indonesia, Belanda, membawa misi iluminati. Gospel, Glory, and Gold. Bangunan tugu asli Jogja sebenarnya sangat sederhana berbentuk golong gilik. Tugu Jogja yang sekarang ini adalah peninggalan Belanda. 

Bagus Riyono juga mengangkat sosok Mohammad Hatta. Tahukah Anda mengapa Mohammad Hatta terpilih sebagai bapak Indonesia atau bapak koperasi atau title istimewa semacam itu? Karena dalam biografinya Bung Hatta ketika belajar di Belanda merupakan pribadi yang memiliki idealisme. Saat itu banyak kelompok diskusi yang mengarah pada penuhanan pemikiran manusia. Ketika dirinya diajak belajar filsafat ketuhanan ia dengan tegas mengatakan, “Maaf, saya Islam.”

Sumber: Kuliah Psikologi Islam oleh Bagus Riyono ditambah sedikit review beberapa ilmu yang diperoleh dari Pengantar Psikologi oleh Fathul Himam, dan Perilaku Organisasional oleh Budi Santoso

So Real

So Real Lyrics

By: Raef feat. Maher zain

They say that love never lasts
That love never lives to see another day
But what I know deep down inside
It’s what I feel and it’s so real
I gave it up all for You
And there ain’t nothing that I won’t do
All I know deep down inside
It’s what I feel and it’s so real with You!

Chorus:
Allah, everyday I’ll try to be as true as I can to You
‘Cause loving You the best I can

Will always be my number one and only plan
Yes everyday I’ll try to be as true as I can to You
‘Cause loving You the best I can
Will always be my number one and only plan

They say: “You’re out of your mind”
“Don’t you know that love fades away?”
They say: “It only brings you pain!”
But what I feel is so real!
I gave it up and turned to You
‘Cause I know what your love can do
O Allah open up our hearts
And make us feel how it’s so real with You!

source: www.islamiclyrics.net

In The Harmonious Harmony

I would rather walk slowly 
to catch every breath of the airy way
yet, it would never last forever
would you let me 
reminisce every step of the journey 
for at some point I would start over
and fly away

Life sometimes becomes 'too kind'
But, I would rather talk softly
and hear the very whisper of the wind
for I will leave silently
to live in the harmonious harmony.

~NN~
16 October 2014