Reminiscing The Solitary Morning

Allah, sebaik-baik pembuat rencana. Maka apalah tugas seorang manusia kecuali melakukan, mengharapkan, dan menerima apapun rencana yang terbaik dari-Nya. Allah, sebaik-baik tempat untuk kembali. Betapapun kita telah jauh dan jatuh.

Today marked the seventh day of our community service in Dukuh Village, Sleman. There has been much going on. I have been learning quite of new things from this little journey-sort of a journey that I would like to share here at least that I have quite of sometime after a morning prayer.

Reminiscing each morning, we prepared everything on our own. Yes, we live in pak dukuh’s house all by ourselves. Pak dukuh owns two houses, one in Dukuh and the other in Pakem which is his wife’s house. He stays in Pakem with his family all nights since he has his mother-in-law living alone and runs his business there. He visits his house (sort of an office) in Dukuh every morning till dawn. That makes us feel like we learn to live independently. Preparing the food all by ourselves, cleaning the house, and getting fixed everything. On our first day, we were so happy, feeling like we are the most lucky in our subunit having the least member with my wonderful girls I have just known; Dea, Nay (Nurul), and Fiika. We had a gazebo (pendopo) with nice ceramics. We have a kitchen! But we were almost crying when we found we did not have a closet. Our first day was to clean up the house. We worked reaaally hard. This house hasn’t been used for quite a long time. So, imagine how dirty it was. But, thanks to wipol. Till now sadly, the closet is not working properly, when it is not dark outside, we walked down to the nearest gas station for that purpose hehe. You may say, come on, this is not in the mountain how come you don’t own a closet? Oh man, you see, even in Sleman City, people are under poverty and hedonism. If you saw those youngsters hanging out touring around with such motorbikes with their friends when it comes to maghrib. Even in one night, it was after 12 night, I was awaken of the sound of people singing and playing guitar. I feel like, well, this is worse than my village. There is still so many things to work on. People who keep throwing litters into the river and the hill. People who keep washing their clothes in the river. And so on and so forth. This is the city. The highest economy in this province. Yet, the highest gini ratio which means the discrepancy or the inequality is quite high.

Walking through the streets in between the villages in this early morning after the prayer. I thought of this. Thinking of how I was sent here. I decided to take a plotting for this community service. Yes. My mom wouldn’t let me go further. I wonder. I have been traveling a lot, why not? I hopelessly think that community service is a serious, sincere, and all-out-activity, not just something you have to do. It is something we need to do sincerely. And I have been questioning why they keep telling me this and that. If happy little blue birds fly over the rainbow, why oh why can’t I?

It was me who has this great ambition to travel the earth. It was me who loves wandering around. It was me who at the same time dreamt of making something. Yet, it was only me who enjoyed some solitary walk. And yes, it was me who almost forget to be grateful towards all the bliss of life. It was when we only keep thinking of what’s less and count too much on this temporary life. Perhaps that is why. Nevertheless, the world is just a finite journey and we think too much of it, neglecting the infinite of the afterlife. Don’t we sometimes feel so stupid? Because I once learnt that the al hadith said, among the smartest people are those who keep the remembrance of death. If you have dreamed of your own death which I did just not long ago before going to the community service. It was very scary and the important thing was that, we always regret our sin at the very last moment of our time that ironically we keep thinking of our worldly life at the peak of death.

Maka apakah mereka tidak berjalan di muka bumi, lalu mereka mempunyai hati yang dengan itu mereka dapat memahami atau mempunyai telinga yang dengan itu mereka dapat mendengar? Karena sesungguhnya bukanlah mata itu yang buta, tetapi yang buta, ialah hati yang di dalam dada. (Al Hajj:46)

Allah ya Allah, guide me all the way to Your Jannah. Ya Allah ya Allah, don’t let me go ashtray cause I need You by my side I wish to be closed, closed to You through all my life. Ya Allah oh Allah be with me all the way.

Glad, finally it's posted.

Dukuh, 16 July 2014