I recently tweeted an awkward moment of an absurd day on my timeline. It wasn't that special. However, I kept thinking on that coincidence. Not that it was such a coincidence. But that moment really made me think of what and why everything has been through. A talk with that stranger was a deep contemplation to me though it scared me a little.
Walking through the University hall way (Rektorat) in a rush, suddenly a stranger I thought I have never known before, stopped by and greeted me kindly. I was in a world of no where. I didn't intend to meet anyone nor to greet stranger. Honestly, I was looking for a fresh air, exploring the university I have been in two years now, enjoying and rediscovering my self through the way. The old ancient building, the wind, the rustle on the trees nearby the gazebo, the crowds of students in Balairung, and just anything that can make me strong in my faith and belief. This moment that I finally found the triumph and privilege of pursuing higher studies that sometimes I don't realize and forget to praise to His mercy. This moment everytime I search for that kind of thrill walking in pride through the corner of this ancient university. I keep looking for that pride to my soul that I can eager on studying.
Well, he told me that he had seen me a lot in the university central library. Then, I was amazed. Trying to remember who. Before that, within a quick phase, he asked me more questions that I felt like being interrogated. Where I study, in what year, and so on and so forth. Just those basic questions in the middle of the hallway in a not so convenient situation. When he came to that question, are you graduate student? I felt like, Gosh, No! So you're still undergrad. Yes. Inside I felt like am I that old looking oh man! May be because I have deepen my self into the library since the rebuilding of the new central library I kinda love the library alot. I feel the thrill of knowledge. I feel the triumph of pursuing college. I feel the freedom of becoming who I wanna be. I can see broader. I am not so bordered with the lifestyle and such things of the hedonism stereotype of business student you know. I enjoy a me time there so much.
You know what, after we separated. I walked on my own trying to find a corner, a quiet place, a gazebo that I would find convenient. There I kinda remember who I have met. Yes, that man was familiar. I think I remembered. He often became the imaam in the library's musholla. Now I remember.Then, I put my self into my handbook. Starting over my study for tomorrow's exam, the only accounting subject that i found very fun, Managerial Accounting with Ms. Wulan Wimbari, the best lecture ever for awarding me with "the most sincere speaker" on our last lecture. Thank you, Ms Wulan. I love you and will work hard on loving this world of Accounting, at least I have fallen in love with Managerial Accounting though it's surely nothing.
When I have deepen my mind into my textbook, I heard someone was opening the door behind me. I was kind of surprised. It's holiday and who would open the office. I gazed and looked away. That same person again. Oh Gosh, whats with all of these?
Then he came by. Sitting on the chair in front of mine. I smiled and got back on my work. Well he asked if he could ask some questions and damn, I know what his questions would go. Anyway, one question that contemplates me was that he was curious about why I spent so much time at the library and what motivated me.
Frankly, I love the moment of a me time. I think the reason why I enjoy library is that I can be who I am no matter what people surround me would think of that. Such an individualist you might think. No, it's not that. I want to hijrah. Hijrah means menyepi, moving away from the crowds and the ordinary. FEB has been nice but I have my own way. I honestly feel tired with the routines and that same lifestyle and atmosphere of Economics Business student. I want a different atmosphere. At least that I am not late for balancing my academic nonacademic here. At this stage where I have been passing through two years college life with so many fascinating stories I found that I have been loosing something important and valuable inside of me. I promised that at the time I served as volunteering in SEF, I have to balance my work with my self immersing in the academic atmosphere. Library is the best place you know.
Besides, moving to a new strange life of accounting economics and business student teach me how small and UN-knowledgable I am within this field. I have to work hard. I have to build my mood rediscovering the motivation. I have to believe in. If I studied it wouldnt promise I would succeed. Otherwise, it would almost impossible I would succeed without studying hard. So, i would like to say, gudluck for my self! You are wonderful just the way you are. Keep on believing!
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